What’s on your errand list?

I keep little scraps of paper around with my grocery and errand list. The other day I decided to knock off one of these lists while on my lunch hour.

It read:

Sparklers
Leash
Hand cream

Upon glancing at each item I was taken aback by the amount of depth packed into this little list.

Why the sparklers?
This weekend I’m going to visit a friend from college. She’s a beautiful person, lots of fun, has an amazing smile, and is full of spunk. Unfortunately, she’s quite sick. She’s the sort of sick where you can’t take food when you visit (since she can’t eat) and flowers or get well cards seem . . .well. . . morbid. I was at a loss for what to take. So. . . I asked her. What can I bring? She came up with sparklers! Excellent idea. Tomorrow is the 4th of July and I can’t imagine anything more fun than sitting out on a deck or the driveway lighting up sparklers. So. . . getting that first item on my list was of highest priority at that moment.

Why the leash?
My dog, Frannie, is ten. When I got her I had (still have) one of the nice, short, leather leashes – the kind for well-contained walks. A good friend of mine had a wonderful dog named Nika. Nika was in her later years and had a heavy-duty, super duper, long, retractable, fancy leash. My friend decided that Frannie, in her rambunctious puppy mode, would have better use for that leash. Up until a week ago we used it daily. On a hot morning walk, when I thought Frannie would sooner have me carry her in than go around the block again, a squirrel zipped past. She took off for the squirrel, the leash slipped from my hand, and the heavy-duty plastic landed in just the wrong spot. No more leash from Nika. That was a sad moment, but I was happy to think about the number of years of good use we all got out of that leash. So, it’s time to break in a new, long, leash and maybe another lucky puppy will end up using it down the road.

And what’s up with the hand cream?
I had a dreadful hostessing moment. My mother was a great hostess. I try to keep my home in a way that she could walk in at any moment and I’d have all my bases covered – meaning I could offer a clean house and a fur-free place to sit, something to drink, something to eat, and be able to offer anything a person needed. Last weekend some friends came over after a hot, sunny day downtown. They were fried. Red-in-the-face, sunburned, painful, fried. One of them asked if I had any lotion she could use. Absolutely! I grabbed the lotion from my bathroom closet only to find it was . . . . empty. Yup. So. The hand cream ranks right up there in my mind with a bad hostess moment. Hopefully my mom wasn’t watching. In the future I’ll be ahead of the game.

So. . . . . what’s the point of all this? Next time you look at your grocery list – or your errand list – instead of thinking how annoying it is that you have to take the time to run the errand or get the picky little things, think about the importance behind it. Chances are you’re doing some good for your life, or others, with that little piece of paper.

Regret

Judith Krug, Executive Director of the Freedom to Read Foundation and Director of the Office for Intellectual Freedom of the American Library Association for over forty years, died April 11, 2009.

I was fortunate enough to sit in on FTRF and OIF meetings for a couple of years, while serving as a committee chair for a Public Library Association group. That was an absolute treat. Meeting with both of these groups gave me enthusiasm about my chosen profession unlike anything else.

Listening to lawyers debrief on censorship issues, hearing from authors whose books had been banned, and most of all, listening to Judith and her colleagues talk about and make critical decisions that would protect intellectual freedom rights for you, me, and every other American citizen –was contagious, enlightening, and energizing.

This was so energizing, that at every meeting I would become more determined to become a member of the Freedom to Read Foundation board. Every piece of that determination started with a goal of meeting up with Judith for coffee and talking about intellectual freedom and my goals and interests, and how to best proceed. This would have been easy to do. She lived near me, worked a 20-minute train ride from me, and was a warm, welcoming, and practical person.

She’s been on my radar screen for several years now – and yet I didn’t act, call, put it on the calendar, get on the train, and follow through. That makes me sad.

I don’t often speak of regret – and I have a tag line on one of my email accounts that quotes Edward Abbey, “Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul.” Today, when I look at the memorials to Judith Krug, and read her obituary, I’m so thankful for her and all she did with her life. I’m so sad for her family and those close to her. And yes, I believe my soul is a bit ruined because of my failure to follow through.

When the spirit moves, take action.

http://www.ala.org/ala/newspresscenter/news/pressreleases2009/april2009/oifkrug.cfm

http://www.ala.org/ala/mgrps/othergroups/freedomtoreadfoundation/index.cfm

Lamentations 3:25

This morning I had what I believe was my second epiphany - it felt bigger than the epiphanettes (mini-messages, not a chorus line) of the last couple of years.

My first and only epiphany occurred over a decade ago, while I sat at work, on a Friday afternoon. I was trying to get a computer to cooperate with me - it wouldn't - and I couldn't leave until it did. It was quiet, the lights in the office were off, the sun shone through the window in a bold ray, and I heard God tell me I should go to library school.

This second epiphany wasn't quite "You should go to library school." It came with no special lighting effects, no sense of quiet, no voice directly from God. It did, however, feel equally important and perhaps equally life-changing.

My brother gave me a framed, calligraphy quote not soon after our mother died - it's of the verse,

"The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him." Lamentations 3:25.

I have always wondered why he gave me that quote. There has never been a point when I've had warm, fuzzy feelings about it. It hasn't made sense to me. What? What are we waiting for? Who are we waiting for? What does that really mean? Hasn't the lord shown up already? Isn't he present all the time? I hung that quote up a few weeks ago. It has never graced the walls of my home. It has sat, and waited, in a drawer, on a shelf, in a box, it has inhabited many spaces, just not my heart or my vision.

Until. . . . I was in the bathroom getting ready for work this morning. While drying my hair, I was mulling over some events in my life. I have been beating myself up too much about the fact that I sometimes have a hard time being patient, and that can lead to me "jumping the gun" on any number of fronts. It occurred to me that for once in my life, I am prepared to sit in discomfort instead of trying to solve a problem. I'll sit, and learn patience, and not look ahead, and . . . wait for God. At that point I looked over at that quote and "got it." It's the first time I've ever understood that verse.

The Lord will give me all that is wonderfully good including the support, joy, right thing, right heart, right person, right time, if . . . . I will wait, and not act, and let things happen on God's time.

The first epiphany went well. I heard from God. I acted. I got a library science degree. It led me to the best library a person could ever want to work at, in a beautiful place, surrounded by many wonderful co-workers, patrons, and friends.

This gives me faith that the second epiphany will go as well.

The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him.

How Good Do We Have to Be?

Last night at 10 p.m. I found myself struggling (strug gl ing - the drawn out, annoying, three syllable sort of struggle) over my Lenten commitment.

What does it mean to apply the doctrine of non-action or least effort, and what sort of trust does this mean I have to have?

How in God's name (literally) am I supposed to apply this for over a month - when I'm four days into it and I don't think I understand what I'm doing?

What sort of weak human can't relax for 40 days, be present and see how life unfolds?

Why does this seem easier for some people than for me?

Why am I not falling into the good, easy, and right category right now?

What can I do to fix this?

When my mind starts going, I take action.

Anyone who knows the women in my family will not be surprised by this - they have sharp minds and they "don't just sit around waiting for something to happen." I will attribute that quoted phrase to my mother, who I'm sure said it, multiple times, and if she didn't say it, she embodied it.

Action, for me, has always felt like a way to work through problems, create solutions, improve life, and move ahead. Taking action can also look like impatience, re-action, or moving too fast. This is why I chose this Lenten project in the first place - I committed to study an alternate option - so why am I beating myself up about this? And how do I get out of this struggle?

My answer for that particular round with struggle popped off the bookshelf and into my hands. The book, "How Good Do We Have to Be," by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner has been on the shelf for several years, and the spine hasn't seen any action.

Last night Rabbi Kushner's thoughts proved to be a big help for me. Did he answer my questions about the meaning of "doing nothing" and "least effort?" No. Did reading the book prove that the help I need in any given moment will present itself? Absolutely. Here are two excerpts that lifted some of the self-judgment off of my heart last night.

Kushner says,

I believe that the fundamental message of religion is not that we are sinners because we are not perfect but that the challenge of being human is so complex that God knows better than to expect perfection from us. Religion comes to wash us clean of our sense of unworthiness and to assure us that when we have tried to be good and have not been as good as we wanted to be, we have not forfeited God's love.

His perspective on the story of Adam and Eve is also an interesting one. The book is short, and entirely worth the read. I'll be going through the rest of it in the next few days. Look for a Lenten bibliography in the coming weeks.

Kushner's view is this,

I am suggesting that the story of the Garden of Eden is not an account of people being punished for having made one mistake, losing Paradise because they were not perfect. It is the story of the first human beings graduating, evolving from the relatively uncomplicated world of animal life to the immensely complicated world of being human and knowing that there is more to life than eating and mating, that there are such things as Good and Evil. They enter a world where they will inevitably make many mistakes, not because they are weak or bad but because the choices they confront will be such difficult ones. But the satisfaction will be equally great. While animals can only be useful and obedient, human beings can be good. The story of the Garden of Eden is not a story of the Fall of Man, but of the Emergence of Humankind.

Thank you Rabbi Kushner!

Do Nothing: A Lenten Commitment Follow-Up

If you haven’t read the comment posted with my last blog entry, you should do so. I’m taking the good advice offered . . . sort of.

Instead of giving something up for the Lenten season, I am going to do nothing. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do anything. . . I’m just going to focus on doing nothing.

There’s a Buddhist/Taoist practice, wu wei, that speaks of doing nothing, or acting with effortless, natural action. It's my plan to study this during the Lenten season and work (with least effort, and in the most natural way) to make this practice a part of my life.

Here’s a link to the Wikipedia page on wu wei,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu_wei

for those who don't want to read so much, here's a brief definition without the historical background:

Wu wei (traditional Chinese: 無為; simplified Chinese: 无为; pinyin: wúwéi) is an important concept of Taoism (Daoism), that involves knowing when to act and when not to act. Another perspective to this is that "Wu Wei" means natural action - as planets revolve around the sun, they "do" this revolving, but without "doing" it; or as trees grow, they "do", but without "doing". Thus knowing when (and how) to act is not knowledge in the sense that one would think "now" is the right time to do "this", but rather just doing it, doing the natural thing.

Wu may be translated as not have or without; Wei may be translated as do, act, serve as, govern or effort. The literal meaning of Wu Wei is "without action" and is often included in the paradox wei wu wei: "action without action" or "effortless doing". The practice of wu wei and the efficacy of wei wu wei are fundamental tenets in Chinese thought and have been mostly emphasized by the Taoist school. The aim of wu wei is to achieve a state of perfect equilibrium, or alignment with the Tao, and, as a result, obtain an irresistible form of "soft and invisible" power.

There is another less commonly referenced sense of wu wei; "action that does not involve struggle or excessive effort". In this instance, Wu means "without" and Wei means "effort". The concept of "effortless action" is a part of Taoist Internal martial arts such as Tai chi, Baguazhang and Xing Yi.

In Zen Calligraphy, Wu Wei has been represented as a circle.

Sorry to those who were excited about my giving up judgment. Maybe next year - or after some particularly inspirational reading or church service. It’s good to have something to strive for.

Now Taking Lenten Sacrifice Suggestions

Two years ago I gave up worry for lent. Yup, worry.

I made that decision when:
I was on my own for the first time,
my dad was declining w/ Alzheimer disease (therefore his level of care and the cost of his care was on an incline and
despite my fear of numbers I was doing his finances),
my dog was having leg surgery,
I was dating for the first time in years,
and I decided to give up worry!

It was absolutely life changing and for the most part, it has stuck. It takes several weeks to form a habit – and lent proved to be long enough. I have to admit that I read a LOT of Buddhist works (Thich Nhat Hanh and Pema Chodron were on speed dial) and more than a few bible passages to get there, and there have been plenty of mini-setbacks, but it is truly freeing to accept what is, live in the moment, and not utterly freak out about the future.

So. . .that was so successful that I tried to give up judgment last year.

I’m not that judgmental, in fact, I’m rather easy going. It seemed like a doable task. A few of my co-workers could give you the exact timing . . . I think it lasted about two hours. I’m not sure why those little judgmental thoughts keep creeping in. They just do. So. . . giving up judgment is still on the table as an option. I’ve given other Lenten sacrifice options below, and I’d like to hear what you’d suggest for a meaningful, challenging, sacrifice.

Some possible, yet unoriginal, ideas:
1) Taking the train three days a week (declared that as a New Year’s Resolution and haven't exactly - or not at all - followed through)
2) Healthy eating (did I mention unoriginal?)
3) Giving up chocolate (working on this one by not constantly raiding the candy drawer at work – a successful resolution). Isn’t this on a list handed out to kids at catechism?

. . . . see . . . I need suggestions!

So. . . feel free to throw your ideas in the ring.

Unless something amazing comes up, lent 2009 will be a judgment-free time in my life.

update on Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act

Consumer Product Safety Commission Announces One-Year Stay on Implementation of Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act
January 30th, 2009 | Category: Government Information, OGR

The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) today released an announcement to the Federal Register staying implementation of the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA) until February 10, 2010. Click here to read the announcement.

Libraries now have a little room to breathe, but this announcement is not an end to this problem. Since we know children’s books are safe, libraries are still asking to be exempt from regulation under this law.

While the CPSC and Congress continue to toss the burden of responsibility back and forth, libraries are caught in the middle. ALA will continue to work with members of Congress and the CPSC to ensure that a year from now, this matter is resolved once and for all, and America’s libraries remain open and welcoming to children.

Emily Sheketoff, Executive Director
ALA Washington Office

Don't Let Jimmy Eat that Book!

Hey folks - this is rather odd, and entirely true. So read on . . . take the press release seriously. . . and if you are a library fan, an activist, or someone with common sense, call and get this ruling reversed.


ALA: Consumer Product Safety Commission Still Dragging Its Feet On Book Ruling
January 22nd, 2009 | Category: Government Information

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American Library Association (ALA) today expressed dissatisfaction with a public meeting held by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) to discuss the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA) and whether the law, which requires children’s products to undergo stringent testing for lead, should apply to ordinary, paper-based children’s books.

Under the current opinion issued by the General Counsel of the CPSC, the law would apply to books for children under the age of 12; therefore, public, school, academic and museum libraries would be required to either remove all their children’s books or ban all children under 12 from visiting the facilities as of February 10.

During the meeting, members of a panel including representatives of the American Association of Publishers (AAP) as well as major book publishers and ink manufacturers, addressed questions raised by the CPSC rulemaking committee regarding the testing procedures and methodologies currently exercised in the production of an ordinary book.

The panel presented a collection of data reinforcing their position that ordinary books pose no inherent threat. This information can be viewed here. Though the CPSC acknowledged that the current deadlines are unrealistic and potentially damaging, the General Counsel gave no clear indication as to when an official ruling would be made and could offer no definite direction to libraries at this point.

“It is completely irresponsible and unacceptable for the CPSC to continue to leave this matter unresolved with the February 10th deadline drawing closer each day,” ALA President Jim Rettig said.

“It is apparent that the CPSC does not fully understand the ramifications this law will have for libraries - and for children - if libraries are not granted an exemption. At this point, we are advising libraries not to take drastic action, such as removing or destroying books, as we continue to hope this matter will be rectified and that the attention will be paid to the products that pose a true threat to children. However, we find it disappointing and shameful that a government agency would continue to leave this matter unsettled when clearly the outcome would virtually shut down our nation’s school and public libraries.”

Action Alert
Please Call the Consumer Product Safety Commission

A public meeting was held January 22, and Cheryl Falvey, General Counsel for the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), stated that a decision should be made by the first week of February regarding libraries. She advised libraries not to take any action at this time, and we are hopeful that the Commission’s decision will exempt libraries.

Even with her assurances, we must let the CPSC know how important an issue this is to libraries. Please call the Acting Commissioner, Nancy Nord, at (301) 504-7901. When you call this number, wait for the automated directory to give you directions to reach Nancy Nord’s office. Explain to the Commission that it is simply impossible for libraries to remove all children’s books from the shelves and/or ban children under 12 from the library and still provide the level of service that is needed.

As always, thank you for all that you do. The only way we will be successful in ensuring that children will have access to safe books is with a strong grassroots effort. Your comments to the CPSC need to be submitted as soon as possible, so please tell all your friends and family - we need as many people as possible to communicate that this oversight could have lasting ramifications on our children and our communities.


* The Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008 has been interpreted to include books as a product that must be tested for lead. While it is understandable that the CPSC must protect children from toxic materials, publishers have already tested the book components and found that the lead levels are lower than the regulations require three years from now. Additionally, all book recalls in the last two decades have been because of toys attached to the books that posed a choking hazard, not the books themselves.

* Making these testing regulations retroactive would require both school and public libraries to take drastic steps to come into compliance. They either would have to ban children from their libraries or pull every book intended for children under the age of 12 from their bookshelves at the time children are fostering a lifelong love of learning and reading.

* In order to allow children and families to continue accessing critical library materials, please either exempt books from the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008, accept the component tests that have already been done, or exempt all books currently in school and public libraries. This will ensure that our children continue to have access to safe and educational library materials.